A little update

I’ve been very quiet on here and wanted to give an update to why – grab a drink & join me in a bit of a recap…

Needless to say, I’m a bit of a workaholic, as many chefs are, but I also always wanted to get out of the kitchen by the time I hit my mid thirties, as it’s not feasible to have such a physical job forever. I’ve gained extra qualifications, did some university courses, always signed up to any industry related seminar I could find and worked, worked, worked.

I thought for the longest time, I could work my way out of the industry by sheer determination and had temporarily forgotten that it also takes a lot of luck and opportunities to leave the kitchen, especially if it’s all you know and do.

I struggled with the long commutes, the long hours, my health, my enthusiam and the whole vibe of the industry – always having to prove you’re on the top of your game, never off sick, never resting, arguments with my partner about me never easily being able to be off work without “measures” for my absence, like working ahead, cooking ahead or leaving my phone on in case someone needs me. Partying with friends or even staying out late? Can’t remember when I did that last, sleep and rest was and is precious.

In 2023 Minnie, our minature dachshund came into our lives, I changed jobs to work part time – and my commute went from 3h/day to 30 mins! – and it looked like I would finally get a bit of a breather – a nice & stable job in a lovely team, lots of time in the afternoon to rest and time to restore my mental & physical health, that had been on the backburner for the past decade.

That was the time my body decided, it was enough. I had some health issues, constant hospital appointments, prodding and poking and the constant statement: “Yes, there are some health issues, but it’s not the cause of your problems. Is it stress?”

Nope, I wasn’t stressed, I was working part time, where would the stress come from? I got really annoyed with doctors, the NHS, everything. I had very real physical symptoms and all they could come up with was that I was burnt out. Turns out I was and prentending I wasn’t didn’t help – unsurprisingly to anyone, but me.

We got notice around the same time that we either had to get rid of the dog or move out and I was devastated. I didn’t want to leave the apartment, didn’t want to leave the city, the friendships I had worked so hard to build & the job I loved and enjoyed so much, but my body kept making it clear that I needed to move and rethink.

We moved in May of 2024 and I tried to stay, tried to make it work, tried to commute from Cambridgeshire to London, I negotiated, pleaded and failed. I had to prioritise my health.

The new home is a small house in the country side with a garden – being able to drink your coffee with your bare feet in the grass or standing in your slippers in the ice cold garden and watch your dog zoom back and forth does a whole lot for your mental health. I took 2 months off work to recover – fine, I also renovated and painted walls, restored furniture and was creative, but I also had plenty of rest.

I still have days, where the world crashes down, where all I can do is crawl back into bed and sleep for the day, where I put the water filter into the dog food cupboard and the dog food onto the work top, the sugar into the fridge and the coffee into the pots & pans drawer, but it gets less. I have found a new job, that is physically hard, but mentally stimulating and has a clear path out of the kitchen and I’m taking every day as it comes.

In summer of last year I have finally started to pick up food photography and recipe development again and even sometimes do some photography for local businesses.

My new employer not only massively appreciates me, but has immediately offered me a position as a nutritionist, so I’m now partially working from home – and I can be way more flexible with my time.

It wasn’t easy since 2020, but it forced me to grow as a person, a chef and decide what I want from my career – is my career the defining thing about me, as it had been so many years or is it a part of me, like so many others, a facet of what I’m capable of?

I’m a chef & nutritionist and a very good one as such. I have finally understood that and it allows me to work smart, instead of hard without killing myself in the process.